By Mark Hyatt
Halloween marked the end of National Bullying Prevention Month in the U.S. But that does not mean the problem of bullying can be put out of our minds until next October. On the contrary, whether we shine a lot on it or not, bullying is not going anywhere until we all act together to rid our schools of this scourge, and then follow through to make sure the mission is accomplished.
Chief among the difficult challenges that we will ask parents to confront is bullying. Whether or not their child is the victim or the perpetrator, our goal is first to challenge parents to be more engaged in their children’s lives and second, to be proactive (in a positive way) to take appropriate action that brings the bullying behavior to the attention of school authorities. I say “appropriate” because some parents can be bullies, themselves, unfortunately. In fact, much research has shown that almost all bullying is learned behavior, passed on from one generation to the next.
Indeed, my experience in the role of school superintendent repeatedly confirmed those findings. In fact, I personally was “bullied” by parents, threatened with frivolous lawsuits, told that they would “get me fired” for suspending their children for bullying others. Others threatened to withhold “time, talent and treasure” from their support of our schools. Not surprisingly, the aggressive behavior intimidated some teachers, who became reluctant to address the problems for fear of retribution and reprisals. It can get so bad that school staff sometimes may feel like THEY are the ones who go on trial when they accuse a student or parent of harassment, cheating or worse. I understand this pressure. I’ve worked for school boards that would rather “write a check” than take a stand and work through issues to find solutions that will have the most appropriate and lasting effect.
It’s a vicious cycle that we at CEP are committed to breaking. Toward that end, I invite you to make that commitment yourself and to go to the Bullying Prevention page on our website to view the many K-12 programs across the U.S. that we have recognized for their innovation and effectiveness in dealing with this pervasive problem. Hopefully, you can find a program that fits your school, as well. Or, if you already have effective anti-bullying measures in place, I encourage you to let us know, so that others may benefit from your best practices.
Nationally, many state and local officials also have sought to take on the problem of bullying, which leads directly to low self-esteem, depression and, too often, even suicide among teen victims. All students have the right to a safe learning environment that is free from bullying and any form of harassment. So we applaud those legislative bodies that have demonstrated the courage and character to take such actions.
This issue reminds me of the powerful essay by the German theologian Martin Neimöller, whose words are displayed at the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington. A Lutheran pastor who initially supported Hitler for his anti-Communist views, Neimöller soon came to oppose the Nazi leader and eventually was sent to the Dachau concentration camp. After the war, he famously wrote, “First, they came for the communists, but I was not a communist. So I did not speak out. Next, they came for the trade unionists, buit I was not a trade unionist. So I did not speak out. Then, when they came for me, there was no one left to speak out.”
As I have said before, character requires courage. And vice versa. In the words of retired U.S. Army Col. Jack Jacobs, who was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for his selfless and decisive heroism in Vietnam, “If not now, when? If not me, who?” As a young lieutenant, Jacobs, while wounded severely and still under fire, had personally carried 14 other wounded soldiers to safety. By war’s end, he had also been awarded two Silver Stars, three Bronze stars and two Purple Hearts for his actions above and beyond. In 2008, he published a memoir entitled, “If Not Now, When? Duty & Sacrifice in America’s Time of Need.”
That time is still with us today. As role models, parents and teachers must ask themselves those same questions: If not now, when? If not me, then who will teach our children the good character that they deserve? Those are questions we all need to answer.
