Comments on: Nurturing Tolerance to Reduce Bullying http://www.character.org/blog/2012/02/nurturing-tolerance-to-reduce-bullying/ Thu, 07 Mar 2013 05:55:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.4.1 By: Piyachihttp://www.character.org/blog/2012/02/nurturing-tolerance-to-reduce-bullying/#comment-93 Piyachi Mon, 13 Feb 2012 00:34:37 +0000 http://www.character.org/?p=5801#comment-93 I think this highlights one of the most important difficulties with the entire process of schools teaching and fostering character. Often a child is going to learn the most about something as intimate and central as character from those they are around the most (hence one often ends up reflecting parents, friends, others they look up to). The problem for a school is that no teacher will spend more time around a student than their parents, except in extreme circumstances. Character will inherently START at home (the first 4-5 years of your life), have more influence from home, and be reinforced throughout life with continued family contact. A school cannot, and should not, control this environment. They can make suggestions and provide a positive environment for 8 hours a day, but ultimately the situation will be out of their hands. As long as there are homes that foster bad ideas/intolerance/abuse, you cannot eradicate the ills of society. As someone who was continuously bullied for the earliest part of my school years (in a very good private school, mind you) I have to say that it ended up making me stronger. Good parenting at home can overcome bad parenting bringing a situation into a school. But the buck stops outside of school property, and will for the foreseeable future. I guess my ultimate point here is that it's a long, tough road. We're a lot better off than a society that burns people as 'witches', enslaves people for the color of their skin, and only allows a select few to be educated. But no one should fool themselves into thinking that a schools suggestions for how people should live their lives (to adults who have largely formed their personality) outside of school will enact any measure of swift change. The best bet is to mold those who still can be, ie the kids themselves. I think this highlights one of the most important difficulties with the entire process of schools teaching and fostering character. Often a child is going to learn the most about something as intimate and central as character from those they are around the most (hence one often ends up reflecting parents, friends, others they look up to). The problem for a school is that no teacher will spend more time around a student than their parents, except in extreme circumstances. Character will inherently START at home (the first 4-5 years of your life), have more influence from home, and be reinforced throughout life with continued family contact.

A school cannot, and should not, control this environment. They can make suggestions and provide a positive environment for 8 hours a day, but ultimately the situation will be out of their hands. As long as there are homes that foster bad ideas/intolerance/abuse, you cannot eradicate the ills of society. As someone who was continuously bullied for the earliest part of my school years (in a very good private school, mind you) I have to say that it ended up making me stronger. Good parenting at home can overcome bad parenting bringing a situation into a school. But the buck stops outside of school property, and will for the foreseeable future.

I guess my ultimate point here is that it’s a long, tough road. We’re a lot better off than a society that burns people as ‘witches’, enslaves people for the color of their skin, and only allows a select few to be educated. But no one should fool themselves into thinking that a schools suggestions for how people should live their lives (to adults who have largely formed their personality) outside of school will enact any measure of swift change. The best bet is to mold those who still can be, ie the kids themselves.

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